Well this is probably the most personal I have gotten so far since I started this blog two months ago. (WOW two whole months already!) Not many people know I have had a plastic surgery procedure, but January marked my third year post-op. I promise there will be more to my story than, “make me look like < insert current popular actress >”. So buckle up, this journey is going to take us back to the early 2000’s, are you ready?
Like a lot of girls growing up I hated the way I looked, I was extremely self conscious. Unfortunately, my family didn’t help with that, if anything they just added to it. To top it off I started puberty fairly young I was only in fifth grade, about 10 years old. As my mom likes to say “Your boobs grew over night.” – Thanks mom < eye roll >. So here is a young me looking different than 90 percent of the girls in my class and insecure. Honestly I can not remember ever being smaller than a C cup, though I obviously I was for at least a short time.
Fast forward four years to when I was starting high school. Now some people will tell you it is the best time of your life, but I fully believe for most of us that is a crock of crap! Starting high school I was in band and playing soccer, a nice mix of jock and nerd. Navigating a new school and trying to just survive my first year really. Little did I know that was probably the closest I would ever be to loving my body, which at the time wasn’t much, but looking back I really should have. I was in good shape from playing soccer for so long, and more importantly to this story I was a very nice, manageable C cup.
Then comes my second year of high school and I realize I am out growing more than my usual school clothes. In fact, the same thing happened my third year as well. By my third year of school I had grown to a DD cup. Which some of you may be like yeah! I would LOVE that. I can tell you it is not as glorious as you make think, especially when you are barely over 5 feet tall. As a 16 year old girl shopping yet again for new bras with my mom I broke down in the dressing room.
I did not want to go up another size. I did not want to deal with it. I wanted to go back to my manageable, “average” C cup. As I stood there crying, I told my mom if they ever grew again I was cutting them off! People do not realize the hassle having a large chest is. I rarely found affordable bras in my size, forget finding anything other than white, beige or black. Sports were a hassle because that requires TWO bras to hold things in place, your usual one underneath a sports bra. If you decided to wing it and just go with the sports one you regretted it because then your chest is sore from bouncing around. Then there was things like guys staring at you, having a mile of cleavage in anything that is lower than a crew neck, falling out of every swim suit you find and yes backaches.
A decent amount of women in my family have larger chests so I am sure my mom thought nothing of it other than me being a dramatic teenager. But I really hated always being the one with big boobs and dealing with everything that came with it. It just added to my depression and hate toward myself. Not to mention I was 16 years old around guys everyday at school, that’s all they cared about. How do you know at that age if a guy likes you for you or just because he thinks he will get to see your boobs. Then there were the ones that did try to feel them or create some stupid game around them. Take it from me it is real fun to be sitting in class and have guys next to you trying to throw things down your shirt – NOT.
I began to shut down after awhile, I only wore sweatshirts to school to hide them. I didn’t date guys because I didn’t know what they were really interested in. On top of the other personal drama I had going on it was all just to much and I got to a dark point. Luckily I was able to improve my depression before anything happened, but I still deal with it today.
I Had Enough
I went about life for a long time just dealing with a body I hated and felt I couldn’t change. My struggle with clothes, feelings towards my body and the struggle with guys obsessing over my chest never changed. Then in my early 20’s I found myself right back in that same situation from high school, bra shopping. I had outgrown my DD cup! I was tired of stuffing myself in bras that “fit”, so after all those years I asked my mom about seeing a plastic surgeon. (My mom is a nurse so all my medical questions/doctor recommendations go to her). She was all for it so I went in for a consultation to see what could be done. The guy I was seeing at the time was actually upset by that, needless to say we didn’t stay together long after that.
So, I talked with a doctor and she was confident she could remove a lot of breast tissue for me. We went over issue I had been having and why I wanted to have surgery. It turned out that even though most plastic surgery cases are deemed cosmetic and not covered by insurance, I may be able to have my surgery covered. We sent in paper work explaining how I had other issues caused by the size of my chest like the back pain, but that it also caused me to develop scoliosis. Scoliosis is an abnormal curvature of the spine, and I actually have several. I am an over achiever what can I say! Along with the papers photos of my chest at various angles were sent in as well. After a few long months I finally found out I was approved!
In January of 2015 I went in for surgery, and I was extremely nervous. I wasn’t worried about the surgery itself, more that I was going to experience a lot of first times. (My first IV, first time getting anesthesia, first surgery, first time getting pain medications, first stitches, etc) Other than a rough time getting my IV in thanks to not being able to eat or drink prior, everything went smoothly. I even went home after just hours in recovery. She was able to remove over a LITER of tissue from my chest! Prior to surgery I didn’t realize the size difference I had between each breast, but she actually removed about 250ml more from one side. In addition to removing tissue, she did a slight life and repositioned my nipples, that way everything would have correct placement for smaller breasts.
As you can see I was falling out of my bikini top in August (which was a 36DD) and just three months after my surgery in April 2015 it was so big that there was gapping abs shadows 😂
Overall, recovery was fairly easy and pain free. I was mostly sore and only needed simple ibuprofen for my discomfort. My incisions healed as expected, but they were sore longer than I personally thought they would. Because of their placement I could only wear a sports bra, otherwise the underwire rubbed on the largest incisions. I was so happy with the outcome though, I felt like I was “normal” again. Today, I still feel like I have a large chest (and sometimes wish she had made them a little smaller), but when I compare to old photos I realize it was a pretty drastic change. I do have mild scarring, thankfully with the placement it is hardly noticeable (if clothed).
While I am still self conscious about my body I can say it no longer stems from my chest (hello post baby body!). It felt so wonderful to wear swimsuits and buy tops again. I still only wear sports bras about 95% of the time, but it is out of comfort now. It’s great not being known as the girl with big boobs anymore. Having my reduction did not effect my ability to breast feed my son either. I was told it was a 50/50 possibility it might. It also improved my back pain, and you may say “well no duh!”, but I never really chalked my discomfort up to having a large chest. I always assumed it was from having scoliosis. I fully recommend looking into the procedure if you are tired of carrying around a large chest as well! I am happy to talk to anyone more that has questions about it, feel free to email me or reach out on social media.